I used to dance. African dance, “disco-dancing,” and even jazz dance. It wasn’t something I did as a profession, but rather for fun. I did do some public performing of African dance and I loved it, but didn’t do it consistently. Dancing is a joy. It’s an expression of love and the effect of allowing the vibrations of music to move through the body. I love to sing and dance and spent many years in bands doing just that.
I am 5′ 2″ and I maintained my weight between 125 to 132 pounds. That was a good weight range for me and I was comfortable. A sexy little size 10.
Six years ago, I had braces put on and the accompanying year with them moving my teeth into place, it was so painful that I couldn’t eat much. There was also the stress of managing the properties full-time that we had purchased — 42 units and most of the units filled with tenants and drama. Between the two of those things, I lost an incredible amount of weight and shrunk down to 118 pounds. Though I felt good and thin, my friends thought I was sick with AIDS or cancer, or that I had taken to using crack, cocaine or some other drugs. So, I guess I was too thin and perhaps didn’t look as good as I thought I did…
Then the braces came off, we sold the buildings and my life and my eating went back to some type of normalcy. Ten pounds came back on and I was looking like a healthy me again.
Then I stopped singing in bands; then I stopped singing. I considered myself a recording artist and worked on originals, but did so with the wrong attitude and energy – if that makes sense.
I have been absolutely sedentary for the last three years. Sit, sit, sit. No body movement, no motion. No dancing. I allowed myself absolutely no joy as again stress and emotion ruled me. Thus, there was no expression of joyful movements and love for this body that I live in.
My weight had shot up to 148 pounds (WOW!), my back was constantly hurting and my movement was slow, sluggish and crotchedy, like an old woman. My thighs were so huge, I could spark a fire from them rubbing together when I walked! Even getting out of bed was a struggle because my middle was thick and my back was killing me.
Two months ago, I determined to make a change. I had to make this different. I had to take my life back! So, I pulled out an old aerobics workout video that I had recorded off the television in the late 80′s — 20 Minute Workout — and I set my sights on getting through the first six weeks of daily exercise.
I had to start very slow. In the beginning, I couldn’t bend without further injuring my lower back; I couldn’t do jumping jacks, touch my toes, bend down and touch the floor, etc. But I did what I could. I limited my movements and monitored myself carefully as I exercised. Now, two months later, I can do the jumping jacks, I can touch my toes and my body moves a lot more fluidly and has energy! It is glorious!
I’ve lost ten pounds and everything is slowly firming up and falling into place. Some of my pants are falling off of me. I am almost back into the clothes I wore three years ago — not quite, but almost. My prayer or my goal is that by spring – three months from now - that I am back into those clothes. My favorite guage is a pair of jeans that I embroidered a tree on the leg. They fit me again, but they are snug and not quite too comfortable yet, but I am determined that they will be.
In addition to the exercise, I am putting more thought into what I eat or consume. I am by-passing the cookies, the chips and rampant snacking and instead focus on sitting down and “eating a meal,” as a friend always preaches to me. I had eliminated the caffeine totally in that I was a steady, daily pepsi drinker and had been for years. All day everyday I would pour that dark toxin into my system. I stopped that for a few weeks and then started drinking Coke. So I am back to putting the brakes on that.
I do drink a minimum of a half gallon of water a day – often a gallon. I never liked water but have now acquired a taste for it because it feels good to drink it.
So, every morning, no matter what, I am excited to jump up, drink a glass of water, throw on my sweats and seakers and go do this thing. My body loves it, I love it and it is giving the highest praise and appreciation for simply having the ability to be able to move.
I shower and lotion myself down telling my body ”thank you,” “I love you,” “I care for you.” Filling it up with positive messages and love. It is the place I dwell and it serves me and I am grateful.
